


Facing Up

by BreakfastTea



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Gen, No KH3 spoilers, Post-Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance, Sleep Deprivation, Sora Needs a Hug, dream eaters are adorable, pre-KH3, sora needs a nap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 14:58:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17685659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreakfastTea/pseuds/BreakfastTea
Summary: Sora may have returned to Traverse Town to see his Dream Eater friends, but maybe the real reason he went is for the space he needs to accept his failure.





	Facing Up

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, Kingdom Hearts. It's been so long since I wrote in this fandom. I've missed you <3
> 
> Absolutely no Kingdom Hearts III spoilers here! Saving those for later. The truth is, I've wanted to write a story based off the end of Dream Drop Distance since I first finished it back in 2012. It just took a while to find a way to make this work.

Traverse Town was a nice place to walk around when he didn’t have to fight every few minutes. Surrounded by Dream Eaters, Sora strolled down the familiar streets. His thoughts raced, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to worry any of the Dream Eaters, not after everything they’d already done for him. They stayed close, like maybe they knew something was up. And, honestly? Sora knew something wasn’t right. Deep, deep down, he felt it. An empty place where, until very recently, power had sat, warm and strong. Now, that emptiness seeped exhaustion into every fibre of his being, whispering at him to just stop for a while and sleep. He’d felt like this since the moment he’d woken up to find Donald, Goofy and even Axel staring down at him. He’d thought maybe it would wear off, that he’d be back to normal soon. It hadn’t. And once Master Yen Sid told them only Riku had passed the exam, Sora felt himself on the edge of something worse, something he didn’t want to worry anyone else with. So he’d told his friends everything was fine, he just had one thing to do, and thrown himself back into the sleeping worlds. Or, at least, he’d gone to Traverse Town, that one world somewhere in between, because he really did need to thank the Dream Eaters. And maybe, just this one time, deal with this _something_ alone, without people asking him how he felt constantly. He wasn’t gonna break…

…He wasn’t gonna break more than he already had.

Sora blinked hard and picked up the pace, slamming through the Fourth District. In the Fifth District, he clambered his way, slowly and painfully, to the top of the Gardens. The Dream Eaters came with him, all of them finding the upward scramble way easier. Sora’s body wouldn’t move the way he needed it to. Tiredness left him feeling ten times heavier.

There was that _something_ again, stabbing and hurting. Sora clenched his teeth. “Not. Gonna. Think. About. It!” he grunted, hauling himself up to the highest point.

Reaching the glass room, Sora tipped backwards, panting for breath. Why was everything so hard right now? He squeezed his eyes shut, but that just meant sleep reached out to grab him. Sora wrenched himself upright. He’d come here to see the Dream Eaters, not to sleep. Never sleep. Maybe never again. He couldn’t forget the feeling of unending sleep settling over him, pulling him down, down, down, into an abyss that sunk claws into him and wrenched him away from light and life.

“I gotta stop it!” he told himself, shaking his head. He slammed his eyes shut against the hot rush of tears. “I can’t let it get to me.”

Fists clenched against the emotions surging inside him, Sora heard a familiar mewl at his side. A warm body pressed up against him, a head burrowing itself into his side. He looked down to smile at his friendly Meow Wow. “No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”

And he was, right? Yeah. He’d fought before, learned before, gained power before. He could do all of that again. No matter how tired he was.

He watched the Dream Eaters playing around him, chasing each other and making all kinds of noise that he figured must be their way of speaking. They all seemed to understand each other anyway. Watching their antics took his mind off a few things. Watching them rushing and dancing and jumping and twirling lulled him. His eyes drooped.

Except how could be still be so tired?

And if he fell asleep, what if he didn’t wake up? What if that dark chasm swallowed him whole this time?

Sora rested his chin in his hands. He didn’t need to feel so bad. He’d failed one exam. Big deal! Hadn’t he saved worlds? Stopped the Heartless and the Organization? If that wasn’t enough to make him a Keyblade Master, who cared? He’d still helped people…

…so why couldn’t that be enough?

Probably because he wasn’t really chosen by the Keyblade. Not like wielders were supposed to be chosen anyway.

Sighing, Sora slumped. He’d known for a while that he wasn’t chosen by the Keyblade the way Riku was. He hadn’t needed Xehanort to tell him that. Why would something so important choose someone like him? He wasn’t as strong or smart as Riku, or the King, or any of the others. He’d always looked up to Riku, always wanted to beat him at a race or a fight, but he’d forever be that little bit smaller, weaker, and slower.

Ugh. Sitting up here was only making him worse. Standing up, he accidentally sent Lord Kyroo rolling away. “Oh, sorry.” Wow, he really couldn’t do anything right today. He righted the little dream frog and jumped down from the rooftop. Pain shot through his legs and knees. “Ow!” He really had lost his touch. Tears blurred his eyes. He’d screwed up this whole exam so much more than he thought he had.

Yawning, Sora plodded back through the Fourth District and returned to Fountain Plaza, the sound of water soothing in the quiet town. The Dream Eaters stayed close. Sora watched Necho Cat dance around him. He laughed as it somehow twirled and preened all in one go. If he tried that, he’d probably get his legs tangled and fall flat on his face. Didn’t really need to add a bruised face to his aching knees. He scratched the back of his head. Sometimes, he really was hopeless.

Reaching out to scratch Necho’s ears, Sora knew that his real strength were his friends. Without them, he was just… nothing; a tiny piece of something much greater. So, if being a tiny piece meant he had to fight harder to be of any use to anyone, that was just what he needed to do.

He took a step forward.

Except, did he really want to keep fighting?

It stopped him cold. Of course he did! He couldn’t just abandon people like that! They were all relying on him. Roxas needed him to find a way to bring him back. Sora hadn’t really understood that at first, but after that journey through the sleeping worlds, he knew, without a doubt, that Roxas deserved to be free to live his own life. But still… right now… it was all…

So hard. Even reaching Traverse Town had taken more energy than he expected. He slumped against the fountain wall, fighting hard against the weariness. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t. No one was here to wake him up.

He jumped up, ready to keep walking. Instead, a large hand rested atop his head. Looking up, eyes heavy, he saw Kooma Panda standing beside him, looking worried.

Sora shook his head and found the energy for a smile. “I’m okay.”

Kooma grabbed him in a bear hug, lifting him off his feet.

Hot tears splashed down Sora’s cheeks before he could stop them. Embarrassed, he pulled back and buried his face in his hands. It didn’t help. His heart hadn’t really stopped its aching, and now it was all too much. He was too tired, and too worn to keep a lid on all that pain.

Because…

Because…

“I really did try,” he told the Dream Eaters rushing to comfort him. He accepted nudges and licks and even Hebby Reb sitting on his head. Didn’t stop him from crying though. Tears poured down his cheeks no matter how much he tried to wipe them away. “I didn’t mean to fail the exam and let everyone down!” No wonder he hadn’t really been chosen by the Keyblade. On his own, he was just never going to be good enough. “I did everything else anyone ever asked me to do, but this one thing I just… I couldn’t…” Couldn’t get it right, couldn’t do what had to be done… And now all he’d done was make things harder for everyone.

Sora cried harder than he could ever remember crying. His whole body shuddered with the force of his sorrow. Doubled over, he wept as his Dream Eater friends stayed close. He was glad he was here with them, and not back at Master Yen Sid’s tower. He didn’t want to have his friends pity him. He knew he didn’t always get things the way they did, that maybe he was a little slower than most. They all thought it was funny that he’d _fallen asleep during his exam._ He’d laughed with them, because he was supposed to, but they hadn’t been there. They hadn’t felt what he’d felt. All that pain. All that fear. Pushing on and on because he thought that was the right thing to do, even though he knew he might never, ever, wake up again. And because he’d failed, he didn’t have the power of waking, which meant he wouldn’t be able to help the lost Keyblade wielders and Roxas was trapped without a body when he deserved to be his own person… and… and…

He was so, so tired. Crying just made it worse. Sora slumped against the wall, exhaustion dragging him down, down, do –

No, no, no! Sora snapped upright, nearly falling to the ground. He couldn’t sleep. Not even with his Dream Eaters there to protect him. Besides, he really had come to thank them. He hadn’t meant to take a walk around the entire town. He scrubbed his face, hot tears still rolling down his cheeks. He needed to get back before someone came looking for him. Sora imagined Riku coming, only to find him still bawling his eyes out. No. Way.

Sora pushed on, stumbling the whole way back to the First District. By the time he got there, he could hardly stay on his feet. He didn’t think he’d been this exhausted in his entire life. Every time his knees gave way, a Dream Eater was there to nudge him right back onto his feet. The Dream Eaters poked and prodded him towards the café. He tried to say no, but their combined presence meant he couldn’t stop them. They dropped him off at a table. He fell into a chair, staring up into a multicoloured array of faces. They swayed hypnotically. Sleep crashed into him, stronger than before.

“N-no.” He rubbed his eyes, desperately trying to wake up. Fear gave him a spurt of adrenaline, but it wasn’t enough. “I can’t sleep.” He yawned so wide his jaw popped. “Please. I don’t want to…”

Music drifted through the air, soft and lilting. It drained Sora’s fear, warming him. He folded himself over the table, cushioning his head on his arms. He couldn’t help himself.

“Okay,” he said, voice fading. “Maybe just a short nap.”

Traverse Town blurred to black.

* * *

A familiar chirp cut through Sora’s dreamless sleep. He opened his eyes and found Meow Wow sitting on the chair opposite his. The Dream Eater looked so funny leaning up against the table like someone was about to bring him a coffee, Sora couldn’t help but laugh.

And then he remembered where he was and what had happened.

“Ah! Oh no, I gotta get back to Master Yen Sid’s tower!”

The other Dream Eaters had gone. Meow Wow jumped down around him. Sora smiled, reaching out to pet the creature. “I’m feeling better now, thank you.”

Turned out he’d really needed a rest after all. And he did feel a bit better. Maybe he was emptier than before he’d messed up the exam, and the sadness hadn’t really faded away, but it wasn’t as bad as before. He kinda felt like he had a grip on it. Well, as much of a grip as he ever had on anything. Chuckling to himself, Sora rubbed his eyes, trying to massage away the post-crying headache bouncing around in his head like Tigger on a rampage. Standing and stretching, Sora felt the satisfying pop and crunch of muscles and joints.

Ready to face it all again. Ready to take on whatever threats came his way. He’d do whatever he could, just like he said he would. And he’d make up for his failure no matter what it took.

Sora nodded to himself. “Okay. I got this.”

He summoned his Keyblade. He held it out, light shining at its tip. He turned back to Meow Wow. “Thanks for keeping me safe,” he said. “I’ll see you again.”

The keyhole opened, the path back to Master Yen Sid’s world shining ahead of him. Sora didn’t let the doubts about his own strength get to him. He’d make it back. Looking into the light, Sora stepped through. It was time to leave.

The journey passed in an instant. Sora stirred, finding himself face down on the ground. Pulling himself upright, he nearly fell straight back over. Dizzy, he pressed his hand against his mouth, worried he’d throw up. A few deep breaths settled his stomach. “Gummi ship travel only from now on.” He didn’t have the strength to keep travelling any other way.

Hopelessness rose within him again. He shook it off. No way could he go back upstairs to the others looking as grim as he felt. He couldn’t keep worrying them so much. Besides, he didn’t need to be sad when he had so many friends ready and waiting for him. And there were so many worlds waiting too. Somewhere out there was an answer to how he could help Roxas. So what if he didn’t have much power right now? He’d find it again, and he wouldn’t have to do it alone.

He was a small part of something much greater, and he was going to do his part to help his friends. That was all he could do. If he did that, the nightmares wouldn’t be able to get to him.

 Smiling brightly, Sora ran for the door. He sprinted up the stairs and burst into Master Yen Sid’s room. “I’m back!”  

**Author's Note:**

> I *love* 3D, but that ending gets me every time. Sora should be a Keyblade Master. Hasn't he done enough?!? Gyah! Right before he goes back to Traverse Town, you can tell he's not himself. And it's been bugging me for ALMOST SEVEN YEARS. Feels good to finally get this story out ^_^
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! <3 I'll be back asap. Until then, you can find me over on [Tumblr](http://breakfastteatime.tumblr.com/). Asks are open if you wanna chat about KH! Although I'm trying very hard to keep my main blog spoiler free for a while longer yet.


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